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How to stop conflict taking over your life? Ahhh that dreaded word, CONFLICT. Instantly people have visions of a massive punch up taking place and put conflict at the worst possible scenario. Many people apparently can’t deal with ‘conflict’, and tend to bury their head in the sand.

“Nobody likes conflict, but sweeping issues under the rug ultimately causes more damage than addressing things directly.” Sharon Rivkin

What is conflict?

The noun version: a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one.

The verb version: be incompatible or at variance (clash).

When searching for a meaning of conflict, the words struggle, state of opposition, clash, disagreement are all presented.

Conflict is basically a difference in opinion, belief, emotions or views.

I love this quote

“10% of conflicts is the difference in opinion and
90% is due to the wrong tone of voice.” 

Why do people run from conflict?

People run because when a difference of opinion arises, they view the worst case scenario and visualise a big fight taking place. This scenario is a rarity. Conflict often results in two people stating their views, and standing strong to put their view forward. Often ending with a mutual respect that there is a difference of opinion.

How to deal with conflict?

If you find yourself in a situation with another person and there is a difference of opinion, you have several ways you can ‘manage’ this situation.

Option 1 

Simply keep your opinion to yourself and not enter into a discussion on the matter as you don’t share the same view. However, there is always the risk the person will assume your silence is in fact an agreeance to their view.

“If you avoid conflict to keep the peace you start a war inside yourself.”

Option 2 

Firstly, LISTEN to what the other person has to say.

Once they have finished, as them that they firstly listen to all you have to say before interrupting.

Allow them the opportunity to reply and again ask you be given the same right.

You may find a common ground, or you might need to respectfully accept a difference of opinion.

The best part of talking about your difference is it enables you to remove the axis that comes with unresolved conflict.

And remember……

……. that sometimes people just don’t get that conflict isn’t a horrible nasty thing, it’s simply a difference of opinion and there are ways to manage it.

……. don’t go talking behind someone’s back, and fabricating stories. Go and speak to the person, lay your cards on the table. You’ll find your fabricated story became a mountain, when the truth is a simple little mole hill.

Talking it out is better than holding it in.