When I got married, my husband and I had chosen a poem as part of our wedding booklets, it’s called A reason, a season or a lifetime by Brian Chalker.
Here is the poem for you to read.
People always come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend too you, and they are. They are there for a reason…you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.
LIFETIME relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..
This poem has often been at the forefront of my mind, especially when life changes direction and you find your friends, colleagues or even family are no longer on the same path as you. Is this a bad thing, hell NO.
We all change, we all find new directions, and some friends or colleagues can stand the test of time, and others just need to get off the ‘ride’ for a while for their own reason or perhaps you needs them to get off because they aren’t fitting into what you need to do right now in your life.
When in business, it can be challenging as you try to find yourself and where you fit, or more so where you want to place yourself. The learning journey in becoming a business owner isn’t always easy, it can involve lots of self-discovery and lots of boundary settings. It’s important in this journey that you surround yourself with those who encourage, support, inspire and are like-minded to you.
If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t feel that support is around you, then you need to identify why you feel this and what is the cause. This is where establishing your boundaries can come into play. There are some situations you can easily walk away from, but other you may find hard to. So in those situation, look at what you can do to emotionally protection yourself.
- Don’t be readily available to everyone, especially those who are constantly taking from you and draining you, both emotionally and physically. In business this could be a client contacting you via phone after business hours or via social media platforms like Facebook. Respond to those requests when you are working in your business. Have a voicemail message advising clients of your working hours if needed.
- Say NO first. This is not an easy one, especially for the people pleasers. I will admit I am a people pleaser. This is the type of person who always likes to help, who will always go the extra mile without hesitation. The downside of being a people pleaser is you have no time for you, you are giving so much of yourself away for nothing and the minute you stop pleasing the people, they walk away and you’re left wondering what you did wrong. (In these cases, remember it wasn’t you……it was them!)
- Schedule your time. Only be available to business colleagues at certain dates or times. If someone is constantly seeking ‘advice’ from you, ask that they schedule an official appointment with you.
- Define your what, when and who. In this, I mean, define what services or level of support you’re willing to give, when you’re available to give it, and who you are happy to give it to. By having this in your mind, you can set out and prepare yourself mentally for your responses to possible scenarios that present themselves. Practice several lines to respond to the various types of ‘questions’ you get asked. Rehearse them, so that they naturally flow off your tongue.
- Remember, you are creating the lifestyle you want, so be sure to do the things you love to do.
I often reflect on those who came for a reason or a season, and appreciate the lessons learnt. There of course are some reasons where I still haven’t full grasped the ‘why’ but I also believe when the time is right it will explain itself.
So value those that are your reason, season or lifetime, because they are part of your path to where you want to be. They help you define your boundaries, learn valuable lessons, appreciate the moments and help you look forward to the path you desire to be on.
Your goal is to focus on your LIFETIME.