There is a quote that says ‘Never judge someone without knowing the whole sort. You may think you understand but you don’t.’ (author unknown). This quote is so valuable for those who face those moments of fearing judgement by friends.

I want to explore this topic because it’s coming up for many around me ‘when they judge’, and there are many factors that come into play for both us, who fear being judged, and those who are eager to throw their stones.

Everything we do in life brings experiences, good, bad and indifferent. These experiences help create us to who we are. Some experiences can give us power, and others take it away our power.

But not anymore.

A colleague posted recently into a Facebook group about how they posted something on their personal page and as ‘so called’friend took it upon themselves to add negative comments and to put them down.

Unacceptable behaviour. How do they class themselves as friends?

We all choose paths in life, and sometime we see our friends taking paths that we have concerns about or the truth be known have very little knowledge on and are making assumptions.

Sometimes those who comment, are quick to judge and think they know it all. Often, their reaction is a display of their ignorance and true self. Why? Because if that was my friend who posted something and I didn’t agree, I wouldn’t go out in public and write things of a negative manner. If I had major concerns, I’d message them private as a starting point.

We all take journey or travel paths in our lives that might not make sense to others, but they are OUR paths and our journey to learn. Some might be hugely successfully and others lesson we learn. Again, they are our paths.

When my colleague posted her note, she was hurt and didn’t know how to manage the situation. Of course, many responded saying ‘delete the comment and unfriend them’. Not always possible, for various reasons.

Here are some possible actions you can take, I’m not saying these are the right actions, you should make that judgement yourself.

  1. You can respond saying you appreciate their comments, however this is your journey and if they can’t support you, you would appreciate it if they could keep their negativity to themselves as its unwanted.
  2. You can privately message them saying you are offended or hurt by their comment, and would appreciate it if they’d refrain from commenting going further as others who are genuinely supportive will be put off by their luck of knowledge or understanding.
  3. You can delete the comment.
  4. Yes, you can even unfriend them if you feel that is warranted.

Remember something important. It’s your choice, stay true to you. Don’t allow their negativity stop you from moving forward. Own it.

Just remember, often when people make negativity comments it’s a reflection of something else in their own lives.

I personally had someone write terrible language on a business page, about something they in fact have zero knowledge on. Once I probably would have gone hiding or started majorly doubting myself. Instead, I hid their comment and blocked them from my page. Why. Because they aren’t my people, my community or someone I want tainting my community.

There simple are people out there who are happy to spend their time ‘trolling’ to spread negativity in the world. It is said that what we reflect out, we are in turn reflecting back into our own lives. Give those to those who feel the need to be negative or mean, because they are most likely drowning in their own negativity.

Please, don’t stop believing in yourself and your journey. They are solely yours.