Had that moment where you suddenly realised you are doing, and being someone, that is NOT who you are, that you’re surrounding yourself with people that if you are honest are fake and not your people. It happens. It happens unintentionally, and sometimes we can see it sooner than later.

 

It’s okay, we all do it. You’re not alone.

 

How you regain your power and establish your boundaries is what helps you stop being a repeat offender?

 

Honestly, I recently fell into this exact thing. I knew it was there, but I choose to ignore it. Until that moment when the line was drawn in the sand. I was being publically ostracized because the ‘so called’ leader felt only their opinions mattered (as always). To make themselves look superior, and prove themselves to their audience as something far beyond, they felt the needs to use my name and share content (not in its full context) to state their point.

 

This is bullying.

This is intimidation.

This is the moment where the line was truly drawn in the sand.

 

I USED TO look up to them, I thought they were something exceptional.

 

BUT there weren’t. Their need to be a ‘leader’ is only ever at the graces of those they’re stepping on.

 

It’s shameful and inexcusable behaviour.

 

If the shoe was on the other foot, my oh my, how things would have been done differently.

 

Once upon a time, this type of behaviour would have seen me pull away and cowering into my corner. Today, it doesn’t. It sees me standing strong and not will to be pushing into the corner, like Johnny from Dirty Dancing says ‘No one puts baby in the corner’.

 

This event didn’t make me cower away, it gave me my power. My power to believe in myself and to know I don’t need them nor want them because they are my true people.

If this resonates with you. Perhaps you’ve been there or are there. Here are some steps you can use to help regain you power.

 

  1. Know your values and never forget them. The world is full of millions of people, and not all tribes, groups, networks, etc are for you.
  2. Know what you are willing to put up with against what you are not.
  3. Believe in yourself. If you’re not feeling this right now, then find those who empower you to be stronger and more self-believing. Stay clear of those who put you down or constantly take from you.
  4. Know that some people are NOT the ‘be all and end all’of your life. We often feel we need to connect with people to advance ourselves but the truth is, there are better people out there. We just need to be willing to step outside and find them.
  5. Know that not all ‘leaders’ are true leaders. Some leaders are just self-focused and the reality is you will only be used for their gain, never for your gain. A true leader is someone who will encourage and help the ‘why’people, not the ‘yes’ people. (A why person is someone who is willing to ask questions for the greater good for the organisation, too often leaders perceive these people as ‘no’ people, but it’s false and in fact the opposite. These are the true people working towards the organisations growth and success.)
  6. Map out your own path and trust yourself. Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you. If you’re feeling held back, then be willing to spread your wings to find a place that lets you fly high, not clip your wings.

 

Bullying comes in many forms, emotional and physical. You are your own unique self, don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.

 

You are perfect as you are.

It’s up to you on what power you let others take from you.

 

It is often said when one door closes another opens. This does not mean we have to sit waiting for doors to close and open. It means we can slam shut those doors needing to be closed firmly and we can open our own doors.

 

I’m doing it. You can too.

 

Your call to action today is simple.

Stand up, be strong and wholeheartedly believe in YOU.

 

If you need to walk away from them, do it. You’ll be amazed how invigorating it feels. I know it’s given me such clarity that I honestly didn’t realise would come.